Funny story with me and Batman Begins: When the movie came out, I was studying abroad in China. But I really, really wanted to see it. So I tried to talk with my language partner about where I could go to see it. He said that people were very excited about the movie coming out and said where and when I could go to it. So me and my friends got together on a Friday night and went to the movie theater with the big Batman poster out in front….and we walked into this movie.
It turns out that I didn’t effectively convey the idea that I wanted to see a specific movie, not just a movie in general (hey, Chinese is not my native language). So finally I found out that Batman Begins was coming out in two weeks and it would be subtitled in Chinese (meaning English audio!). Opening night, we all got together again and went to see the movie. The movie that was dubbed into Chinese.
Yes, I was a student of Chinese language. Key word: student. I couldn’t understand Chinese! I literally understood two lines of dialogue through the entire thing. (“Where are you!?!?” “Here!” and “This is his called card.”) But I still enjoyed myself.
The rest of my semester there I spent my free time trying to procure a bootleg of an English version of the movie on DVD. I finally got one…with the first 20 minutes missing. So finally, when I got back to America I saw it in the dollar theater.
What’s the point of that story? It’s that I feel like I have a relationship with this movie. I tried very hard to see it, and I failed multiple times. But I enjoyed every failure. And I enjoyed watching the movie every time. So this is a movie that’s close to my heart.
That being said…the ending. Oh, the ending. The first problem is a minor one but harping on minor points is literally the entire purpose of this blog. When Batman shots his grappling gun at the train, he is able to hang from the train and be pulled through the air. So, the train is holding Batman up. But what's holding the train up. Scaffolding! Scaffolding that will get in the way of the grappling gun's tether and hit Batman over and over and over again until he's too punch drunk to even scare people away from his own mansion.
But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that it’s explicitly stated that if the train gets to Wayne Tower the entire system will blow…and the train gets to Wayne Tower! There’s a pretty spectacular visual where we see the train skidding through the parking garage. Did Batman disarm the microwave before this? No. By the reasoning within the movie, the system should have blown. This is like seeing the bomb timer hit zero and then the bomb not detonating. Surprise! The hero’s efforts meant nothing!
Oh, and this is all aside from the fact that the gas was released in the narrows (read: where all the criminals and armed police are) and also all the way from the narrows to Wayne Tower. So, even if the entire network didn’t blow, we’re talking about a Manhattan-sized-area where everyone is destroying themselves through fear.
So…that was a happy ending, right?